Fortes

One Good Tweet

I’m a one-hit wonder on Twitter; this is life with a marginally-popular tweet

SilhouettesGeorge, Washington

My road to being a huge Twitter celebrity (almost 2,000 followers!) started on a typical fall day in 2013. My wife was watching some rainy crime drama, while I was trying to fix a tricky bug that was due to some terrible code I had written while drunk. The same creative juices that conceived my indecipherable code flow gave birth to what are, without a doubt, the most important 87 characters in modern history:

Within a few hours, my timeline (previously solely populated by Nigerian royalty and local singles) started to blow up. Hollywood messaged me non-stop, hoping to purchase the movie rights to my incredibly-popular tweets. I started dreaming of leaving the code mines and entering the star-studded world of mediocre comedy.

Unfortunately, lightning only struck once, and none of those lucrative contracts panned out. But, even years later, my timeline is still completely dominated by a tweet that is over four years old.

Given the unprecedented popularity, it’s worth sharing the statistics Twitter reports for my absolutely brilliant tweet:

Twitter's statistics for the greatest tweet of all time, as of November 2017

Despite over 700 thousand impressions, and almost 20 thousand “engagements” (whatever that means), my super-popular tweet generated a measly 57 new followers. Twitter’s offer to “Reach a bigger audience” isn’t very compelling given a 0.00008% conversion rate.

Despite the lack of life-changing fame, it’s been interesting to see how my (astoundingly insightful) creative work has taken a life of its own:

Hopefully my example serves as a cautionary tale. Think twice before composing that super-popular tweet!