Comments on: Advice, One Year Later

By: Annie

Annie — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 15:40:34 +0000

I don’t understand asking everyone for input regarding your personal decisions. If I stay, or if I go is a personal choice that no one can answer for you as everyone is in a different place with a different set of life experiences. What is best for you can only be answered by you.

If you’re married it is wise to let them know of your intentions. That’s it.

By: Adriaan

Adriaan — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 15:09:30 +0000

Hi Filipe,
Wonderful observation on the quality of probably well-meant advice of others. I’d say it’s obvious you reflect on your choices a lot more objectively than most.
But still…. you can never know for sure if you weren’t subconsciously being influenced by yourself or others. Personally I like Malcolm Gladwell’s take on making choices in his book Blink, where he advocates trusting your gut instinct (and helps you tune in to it). But you know…. I feel that work is a quite complex issue to get your head around. Do you reckon that your observed well-meant advices would’ve been different if you had consulted people for a different matter like, say, buying a house?

Adriaan

ps -> I originally stumbled upon your blog through a google search on the LineHeight property of the TextBlock in WPF. Maybe you know this: I’d like to make lines overlay each other, in much the same way you can achieve that effect in CSS through making the LineHeight very small. Seems like WPF doesn’t allow for it, or is there a way? If you happen to know how to do this, I’d love to know.

By: Joshua Allen [msft]

Joshua Allen [msft] — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 22:43:51 +0000

Ah, such a moron am I! It is actually called “choice-supportive bias” on this list (#3): http://www.healthbolt.net/2007/02/14/26-reasons-what-you-think-is-right-is-wrong/

By: Joshua Allen [msft]

Joshua Allen [msft] — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 03:35:07 +0000

The cognitive bias you’re mentioning is known as “selection bias”, I believe. Once someone commits to a decision, they subconsciously make lots of excuses to justify it.

I usually don’t give people direct answers when they ask me this question. I ask lots of questions to try to help them articulate the pros and cons in their own mind. People don’t start thinking about a change unless there is something uncomfortable about their current situation. So the first step is to bring to conscious mind their internal motivations, and do what in gestalt is called “ecology check” — that is, become certain that a change will indeed solve the underlying issue (if it indeed will).

By: kate

kate — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 19:23:22 +0000

I think minimizing regrets fits in somewhere, especially if both options result in “Charmed Lives”. Imagine yourself in either scenario. Is there one that will result in you regretting having not chosen the other option? I think, even if it’s riskier, it can be worth making the harder decision - that’s when you learn most about yourself. I’ve often asked around for people’s decision-making strategies. Malcolm Gladwell has a lot to say about first impressions and gut feelings. I’d love to read other books on the topic.