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I’ve got some time to kill before I leave China in a few hours.

I had a long list of things that I meant to write up in my inimitable, heart-wrenchingly awesome style. I never got around to them, but here are some of them in a quick list:

• Transportation: Very diverse and adjustable — also includes rare species of vehicles, many with three wheels (cargo bicycles, three-wheeled tractors, etc)
• Beijing Accent: Heavy on the “arrrrrr” — it’s kind of like living in a city of pirates
• Yelling: It’s not mean, it’s not rude, it’s just a common way of speaking in a very loud country
• Comb overs: Far more common in China. Some of them are awesome, although I never got around to taking pictures.
• Telling jokes with minimal vocabulary: As a foreigner, you have a lot of the same conversations. Even with your limited vocabulary, there are
  some easy ways to get a laugh (mostly at your own expense). [e.g. For some reason, every one keeps on asking if I’m cold or insisting I wear a jacket. I tell them I don’t need one because I’m too fat. Always gets a laugh.]
• Over-employment: With 1.3 billion people, you need to make sure each job is way overstaffed. This is especially noticeable in restaurants, elevator ladies, and on the subway (Three people are involved during the subway transfer on my daily commute: #1: Takes the ticket I bought on Line 2, rips it and throws it away; #2: Gives me a new ticket for Line 13; #3 Watches to make sure the machine takes my Line 13 ticket).
• Phone Ringers: No one puts their phone on vibrate / how I’m out of touch with modern society and can’t understand the appeal of custom ringtones
• Things I’ll miss: Food, constant novelty, learning Mandarin, interesting people, and the humongous, inflated ego that comes from so frequently being the center of attention
• Things I won’t miss: Pollution, spitting, the toilets, being illiterate, and the constant “Hello!” sound that follows me everywhere