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I’ve been using a set of language tapes in order to learn Mandarin while I’m living in China (ideally, I would have started these much earlier, but the final decision to live in China was kind of last minute). The tapes aren’t bad; each lesson is 30 minutes long, and paced to not overwhelm with vocabulary. However, the tapes are competely linear, so my learning has been at their mercy.

The tapes make some interesting choices in their teaching order. I learned how to ask someone if they are Chinese during the first week, many lessons before I learned the verbs “want” and “have.” I’ve had to go outside the lessons to learn words for common food items (meat, egg, water) in order to be quasi-functional at restaurants — but they taught me how to say “American Dollars,” and a few other completely useless words. Chinese Pod is a bit more helpful, since I can find targeted lessons — but the production can get on your nerves (you get what you pay for though).

The most useful phrases I’ve learned so far are:

• “I don’t understand”: You’d be amazed how many times I say this a day.
• “What?: People speak very quickly here — but usually I use this when I’m sick of saying “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
• “(I want to) Go <somewhere>”: Essential for taxis
• “Left,” “Right,” “Straight,” “Stop Here”: Also important for taxis
• “I want” / “I don’t want”: You can order simple things saying this and pointing
• “Where is <somewhere>?”: If you’re lucky, you’ll understand their response
• Numbers: Fortunately, these are very simple once you learn 1-10

My vocabulary continues to increase, but I’m competely lost if the conversation deviates at all from my feeble knowledge. Using foreign words never works, and my poor charades skills are rarely understood. Verbs are incredibly useful, since pointing or saying “this” or “that” can work in place of many nouns.

Top phrases I wish I knew how to say:

• “If you let me get out of the subway first, it will be easier for you to come inside”: Seriously
• Ordering Food: I eat very well when I’m with people who know the language — but it’s hit or miss when I choose myself (more on that process some other time).
• “Thank you for your offer, but I am not interested in the ‘Lady Massage.’”
• “I have the stomach of a little blond girl, please give me water that will not make me sick.”